I spent many a year drifting from job to job. Not really. More like I spent almost ten years in a single job because change is scary and I had no mental energy to job hop. But that all changed when I got a Google calendar.

Let me explain.

I have a new job now at a public library. The job is everything I could have ever wanted. I have my own desk, my own telephone, and yes, even my own Google Calendar. I attend work meetings through video chats and post things to social media. I’m getting paid to utilize all those useless skills I thought I would never need. And I finally feel like an adult.

Correction: I finally feel like a professional.

It is a wonderful feeling knowing I’m part of a team. Instead of just drifting aimlessly in the sea of paychecks, I finally feel like my skills matter. People depend on me. I have responsibilities and commitments! Yay, adulting. I love it, if I’m being honest. I spent far too long living in a state of crippling anxiety, beating myself up for not having a career path or moving forward with my life.

And today I sat at my computer, hair pulled up into a messy bun and candle lit beside me, and opened my Google calendar. There, laid out before me were all the commitments and responsibilities I now felt confident and comfortable taking on. My Google calendar shows me that there are people relying on me, and that I am being paid to create this wonderful schedule.

It might not seem like a lot, but to me, it means everything.