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This is so exciting! Actually, this is probably a bad idea, but when has that ever stopped me? I’ve decided to go self hosted, which means I now officially own everything that you see here. Can I get a Hell Yeah, Girl?

I’m terribly impatient, so instead of waiting for my current subscription to run out, I decided to switch over now. Who else is this impulsive? Let’s see a show of hands.

Welcome to Kat Rampage, a propagation of love from Antiquarius.org. For those who followed me over, THANKS! It means the world to me. For those of you who are new, welcome. Please remove your pants and get comfy. Things are about to get weird. Don’t ask about the human size venus fly trap. It stares at everyone that way.

What can you expect from Kat Rampage? A journey into a lifestyle unlike any other. Actually, it’s probably quite similar to a lot of other lifestyles, except a little kinkier, too lazy to put on makeup, and definitely an oversharer. Does that sound like something you’d be interested in? Good. Stick around.

I think everyone these days has the notion that they are all so very different from one another, and that’s just not true. We all experience love and pain and awkward moments when we don’t know where to put our hands (Does it go under her neck or around her stomach? It’s falling asleep! And my palms are all sweaty).

I’m about to put all your most dreaded human experiences into a written epitaph so that it can last forever even when I am dead and gone and reincarnated as a bushbaby (More on why that’s my spirit animal shortly, stay tuned) somewhere in Australia.

I am God’s mouthpiece. I am Satan’s asshole. I’m not special enough to be one of the arch angels. I’m just hovering somewhere in the lower choirs singing off key and waiting for my cue to do something cool.

Have I lost you yet? No? Still with me? Good.

Please direct all questions to my secretary, Sasha. I technically fired her three years ago but she still comes around to do my taxes and I don’t know why. I asked her once and all she said “I just really like numbers”.

Thanks, Sasha. You’re the real MVP.